Hey, when you think of winter time destinations, where do you think of? The Bahamas, Jamaica, Florida, Hawaii, someplace warm, correct? Well, Her Hotness has a totally different idea of such. Hey let’s go to Rochester NY! And by car. Sweet! No problems there. Of course the 100+ inches of snow they get each winter never seemed to have crossed her mind.
This coming all from a woman who wears 2 full pairs of Iditarod strength long johns (just in case one pair rips) over her “normal” underwear (hubba hubba) and up to 2 sweaters, a full length jacket, a pair of gloves, a hat, 2 pairs of socks, a scarf, a blanket and whatever else she can throw on just so she can complain that I have the car “too cold”.
I digress. So this past Thanksgiving we (Her Hotness and driver) got to go to Rottenchester NY (btw, our ancestral home) in order for Her Hotness to attend her 30th (I know you are all counting, but she was minus 2 years old when she graduated) High School Reunion.
This in itself wouldn’t be so bad except that during the whole week leading up to this there was an endless loop of “Let’s go to Jamaica and be alright” commercials on the dish with assorted bikini babes dancing about. So for a fraction of the cost of going to Siberia we could have flown to some sun and fun (hubba hubba) destination instead of trying to remember which way to turn during a left-handed snow skid.
Not that the Outback Subaru (the 1st choice of gay women everywhere) wasn’t up to it. It was a tank going through the snow, but somehow, even if you don’t blink for a couple of hours, Upstate Western New York ain’t no beach.
As a side tour we also went to see my Uncle and Aunt in Mayville NY where they usually (and I’m not making this up) get up to 280 inches of snow a year. We lucked out and there was only about 2 feet on the ground when we passed thru.
As an added bonus, we also took the dogs (Hans and Bell) with us. Even they were wondering about the wisdom of the decision to cross Antarctica every time they had to go out and use the facilities. (see the below photo)
Among other things, Rochester is known for being the suicidal, and coincidently, the Paxil capital of the world. “Rochester Gray” only begins to describe how warm and forgiving the skyscape is for the 11 months and 28 days a year of gloom.
Since it was the Thanksgiving weekend, traffic was kinda busy on the way up from Montrose, but it was crazy busy on the way home. BTW, getting to the “Flower” (probably dead) city took like 2 days (28 hours) each way. Anywho, getting home was insane. An example would be the scrum needed to stop at a “rest” stop along the NY/Ohio/Indiana (toll – crap) Turnpike. Jockeying into a lone parking space and then fighting your way through to the pig-sty-esk bathrooms added to the Gulag theme of the trip. Also, since the US dollar is in the tank there seemed to be either a yearning by lots of Eastern European peoples to explore the Indiana dunes this time of year or way too many foreign speaking types wanting to eat at the I-90 Woody Hayes/Bernie Kosar Memorial Rest Stop’s Popeyes.
Since the Buckeyes seem to be bean counters also (get it? – ha) they’ve managed to precisely under staff their westbound (ie homebound) toll hold up booth. Thus we experienced a 2 hour, and 15 mile back up, all culminating in being fleeced for the six bucks (0.00003 Euros) right of passage toll.
Since Her Hotness while being really hot is also “Her Cheapness” (I’m not cheap, I'm just frugal”) we usually get to stay in some roadside flop house along the way run by either (pick one):
a) an Indian
b) a Pakistani
c) the Taliban
So after staying at that night’s “Taj Mahal” de jour, I usually feel crummy from the bad night’s sleep (cardboard mattress), and I reek of incense and have an unexplained yearning for an Egg McYak.
I know by now you are all wondering what happened at the HS Reunion? Were old boyfriends put to shame by YHS? Where waistlines compared with Her Hotness and some former Homecoming Queen? Were some life stories shared with Her Hotness’s former loser classmates? Well um, err, no
Since Her Cheapness decided that the $50 a person (so a total of $100 including the driver) was excessive we(she) decided that we would just crash the party “after the food was served”. Well, adding up that we had spent the whole day visiting some long lost relatives too crazy to understand that moving away from the North Pole is a good thing, and eating way too many cheeseburgers at “Bill Grays” hamburger joint (burp), we were too pooped to pop (so to speak) and just went to bed early. Now how pathetic is that?
That’s it for now.
Still Recoveringly,
YHS
No comments:
Post a Comment